Jesus and Grandpa at the grand ol' opry

originally posted on xanga on Wednesday, June 1, 2005


last saturday i attended the grand ol' opry with my uncle Steve. though i've been in nashville for several years now, it was my first visit to the opry. this being their 80th year, they were performing nothing but classics, and i daresay i actually enjoyed it. maybe i'm getting old, or just developing an appreciation for tradition and history, or maybe both, but i really had a good time.
there was one moment though that i will never forget because i saw God. in order that you might understand it, i must first digress to thursday of that same week, only two nights before the opry.
i was playing a show at dan mcguinness' with my band, ellington. thursdays are great because the food is good and cheap. a number of our close friends were there with us enjoying food, drink, and conversation for a few hours before the show was to begin. i was discussing religion and such with my friend Chris and he said something that i've heard many times before:
"somebody pointed out to me that all other religions are about works, or things that you have to do in order to get to heaven. Christianity is the only one that claims all you need is to believe in Christ and accept His sacrifice to be saved."

this led us to ask the following question: "what the heck does that mean?!"

just "believe?" do you mean to tell me that a very righteous Jew who truely loves all men and seeks God with all of his heart, and lives accordingly will not see heaven, while Hitler himself could merely say the "sinner's prayer" on his deathbed and see God in all His glory seconds later?!
what exactly does it mean to accept Christ's sacrifice? suddenly, for the first time in my life, and here at a bar of all places, it made simple, perfect sense. but before i go any further, another digression is in order.
i have not been ok. for years and years i have just not been ok. i remember being 7 or 8 years old and upon hearing the sunday school teacher explain that we need to be brave enough to go tell people they're going to hell, i would wonder what was wrong with me. why am i not brave enough? i would cry when i was alone and feel terribly guilty.
much more recently, in college i thought that life would be getting better and better. it was taught to me that if i have "accepted" or "believed in" Christ, then i will be filled with peace, joy, love, understanding, etc... but those were nowhere in me. i never once doubted the existence of God. it just made sense to me that He was there, and Christ had to be who He said He was. I truely believed, sort of.
James 2:18-20 says "You believe there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder." [NRSV] how long had i lived like that? i believed Christ was God. i believed He had supernatural powers. i believed He was severely pissed when i cussed or mistreated someone, unless they weren't a Christian, then it was clearly ok.
but what of this terminology of "accepting" Christ's sacrifice? that thursday night midst the swearing, drunkeness, cigar smoking, barely dressed women, and a host of other "un-Christian behavior" i accepted Christ for the first time.
let me explain: suppose you and i are sitting together on a park bench while a madman fires an automatic weapon at random. as one bullet streaks in your direction, i manage to dive in front of it, thereby saving your life. i fall into your arms and with my dying breath i say:

"your life is no longer your own, it has been bought with a price. - go live life for both of us. love all people, love life, love yourself, above all else LOVE."

the next day, would you awake like any other? what would your life be after that moment?

the revelation comes in the realization that this very act is The Christ! and that was revealed to me through simple conversation with a close friend.

that saturday night at the opry, as the performers sang country classics, i actually had to fight off tears during one song. it wasn't because it was one of those depressing tales of heartbreak (even though it was a depressing tale of heartbreak), but rather because of who it brought to me.
my Grandfather died just before last Christmas, and confronting his passing had really helped me to understand to a degree, the mortality and immortality that all humans face. i believe that all men live on in a very physical way through their interactions with other men. my Grandfather lives on through my Father, and through him into me, etc... not just through genetics though, for every interaction we have with another human leaves an imprint. memories can be fleeting, but sometimes they can bear much weight, and that night at the opry carried much weight.
i saw a young, lanky man in full country gear. he had the boots, the hat, the button down shirt, the whole package. just as the song of heartbreak kicked into full gear, i could have sworn he looked up to the upper balcony and stared straight into my eyes. it was my Grandfather. he was of course younger than the last time i had seen him, lain out in a casket, but it was him. i smelled him, heard his smokey voice, and the laughter that almost always accompanied him. i felt his rough hands grab my arm to pin me down and give me one of the famous "Grandpa Taylor Dutch rubs."

the man on the stage never actually looked at me.

i had imagined it.
i actually strained very hard to see his face clearly, but that darn hat covered it the entire time.

even still, my Grandfather was there that night, in a very real, physical way, and somehow even in a seemingly supernatural way that i may never understand.

i, therefore cannot believe any different about The Christ. Jesus lived. He embodied The Christ. He knew of, and foretold His impending death. He could have allowed his disciples to fight for Him as Peter wanted to, or He could have fled long before the situation ever got out of hand. instead, He allowed Himself to die, as an ultimate act of His Love, the Divine Love of the One True God.

wether you believe that Christ was fully God and fully man, born of a virgin, performer supernatural miracles and literally, and physically rose from the dead; or He was merely a man like the rest of us, equally divine and equally fallible, and the resurrection is but a symbol, His supreme act of the cross is the same to everyone.

to deny Christ's sacrifice is to tell the dying martyr that his life was meaningless.

to accept Christ's sacrifice is to allow yourself to put down your pride, and self-love, and instead recognize once and for all that "you are not your own, you were bought at a price."